To be Cringe is to be Free or something...

Lately, I’ve been thinking about cringe.

What part of ourselves do we hide away to avoid the label of cringe? Or more accurately, to avoid being judged, publicly and brutally, for minor infractions like being too earnest about liking a kid’s cartoon, or being into niche interests like collecting business cards from every artist market and filling bespoke leatherbound journals with them.

That last one is a real person that almost every artist in the NZ artist alley scene knows. They are wonderful and kind and I got the privilege of meeting them properly at Moonlight Alley. They excitedly displayed every piece of their impressive collection, attached to their belt via tactical Velcro, and I was shocked to find they held my business card in their collection already! They told me how they love to bring these items to markets and how, by the day’s end, their weight causes their legs to grow sore. At a different market, they attached all their dangly artist merch to their belt and wore it around the convention, announcing their presence through sound alone and the people knew: the artist alley merchant is on the way.

How dull would the markets be if they didn’t show up? They know they get pointed out, but it doesn’t stop them from doing what they want most. I love that, and I couldn’t in good faith mock someone for doing what they love.

I’m not above the cringe though. We’ve all felt cringe and even pointed it out in others, and I’m trying to curb that compulsion. I want to do better.

There is a local elf in our area. I’ve seen them, TODAY even, out for a run, with their elf ears and silver hair and (notably) blue shirt they’ve worn every time I’ve seen them. Every time we think ‘what are they doing? Who is this for? Is there a con going?’ NO! It’s their day to day, it’s their every day as far as we can tell. They do this for themselves, because they want to! And you know what? Good for them!

There is cringe in all of us. Embrace it. It makes the world better, more interesting, more earnest. It’s cool to care. I’m a gay furry that loves dinosaurs, I don’t know how much more cringe it can get, but maybe! A lot more!

We should just be cringe together.

We’ve got a lot brewing in the shop, so lets cover it all right here, right now:

This month I slammed through my long queue of commissions. Here are some of my favs

You can commission me on my vgen! Newsletter subscribers get a discount on all my commissions as well! Code at the end of the newsletter for all my cuties <3

This year I participated (currently still participating in) artfight! I had to, with the two main teams being fossil and crystal. I had to join team fossil! I love that stuff! Here’s some of the work I’ve made so far.

You can find more of my attacks on Artfight! Maybe I can entice you to join in next year!

Let me tell you a secret: I’ve been working away at stationary collections. I love the idea of capsule collections, or capsule wardrobes where a few carefully curated pieces are mixed and matched to create cohesive outfits. So why not do this for my art merch? The first collection centered around a Dino Cafe, and I designed a set of 5 bookmarks that I wasn’t able to print the way I wanted when I designed them a few months back (because they are die cut). BUT! My friend Laya is helping with that!

The way I had to contain myself because I was in the office and it would have been so very cringe to squeal like a school girl. Just kidding, I did squeak because LOOK AT THESE! Laya is the real mvp here, thank you SO MUCH for making this happen!!!!

My Sonny merch is FINALLY HERE!! Look at my small army of babies! Preorders for these guys are going out FIRST, but since I’m sending them from NZ they will take some time to reach ya. These phone charms will be available in my next shop drop.

The winner of my Newsletter giveaway has been selected! YIPPIE YAY! WAHOOOO!

With permission from the winner, I’ll post their giveaway art in the next newsletter!

Thanks to all my lovely subscribers, I’m giving you all little kisses on the forehead.

At the top of the month, Kale and I got the pleasure of attending Auckland Zinefest, held at the Art Gallery. This event is one of the best zine fests I’ve ever attended, and once again they didn’t disappoint. The craftsmanship of all zinesters was top notch, and attendees filled the space COMPLETELY from start to finish. Never a dull moment or an empty venue.

The people come for the zines! They are hungry for it!

You can even find some of our zines online right now! Here are a few:

Last month I completed three new zines! That’s big! A few late nights and a huge sense of accomplishment later, one of them is now available on itchio! You can get a digital copy of Hang In There, my Severance OC zine! It was a blast to work on something so self indulgent.

Find this story and many more on our itch.io PDF Library! 

I didn’t take a single photo, but I have so many videos, so you’ll see some posts on my tiktok about the event, which was incredibly fun for a first time event! It was hosted in a very spacious community hall, just down the road from like three schools, so there were a lot of school kids around. Don’t worry, I didn’t bring anything nsfw to the event, since I’m local to the area and KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN!

[So there is a SINGLE photo of the booth, curtesy of the event photographer Dylan!]

Thanks to all the organizers, it was such a chill time, and incredibly easy pack-down because we now have a car!!! WE ARE MOVING UP IN THE WORLD FR!!

Just one more note on cringe:

I hold myself back a lot. The fear of sharing myself online, of being vulnerable in a place that is, actually, very hostile to any non-conformity. Lately, we’ve been witnessing the rise of conservatism, the increased policing of our communities by the state, the oppression and erasure of marginalized groups from the public eye. We cannot also do it to ourselves. To be ourselves authentically is resistance.

But how much do we owe the internet? How much of my true self must I give to these platforms that seek to take our data and sell it to the highest bidders, to have them serve us the most accurate ads imaginable? To the people reading this, from the person writing this: is this a conversation we are having? Or a commodification of the self?

People smarter than me have analyzed these questions in betterer, cleverer ways than I ever could, but it’s what I constantly think about before I post anything. How much of myself must I give?

Food for thought I guess. I like writing these newsletters anyway, so I’ll keep doing that.

More Newsletters for you to enjoy~